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OK I lost...........

Posted by muffled on February 13, 2006, at 11:08:25

So I goto figger what goes on.
F*cking pissing myself off majorly. Haven't taken zoloft in a coupla days. Wonder if its that thats getting me all confused. I randomly punch doors and fences. Not too bad, just enough to feel that sharp intense pain a bit and that seems to help me focus or something. I dunno. Gonna have to sit down and have a real good think I guess. These little stops and starts of thinking don't work. Damn brain ain't worth sh*t I think sometimes. Purply hands are better than scars on top of scars. Least the purple goes away.
I fear I have offended the kid somehow. Mebbe the touch thing? I dunno. I think she let me touch her.
I think T2(toughie 2) been around alot more this week. Dunno why.
God its so FREAKING FRUSTRATING how I can't think very good, and ESPECIALLY how I can't remember stuff. I hope I don't have a tumor or something. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Mebbe I should go back on zoloft, I think it did seem to clear my mind a bit...
I ascared of going tomorrow to T appt. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'll contemplate that.....
Dead brain.
OK. How bout why I keep punching things? Or wheres the kid? How come I so stuck? Where am I? I feel like I have gone away somewhere alot lately. Somebodys been running the show, mebbe even now, but its not really me. Only partly. Mebbe its T2 doing what T2 does. Taking care of business. But she so cold and unemotional and not very real somehow really. I wanna come back but we scared I think. Or I scared. Don't know wassup w/the kid.
How can I talk to my T if I dunno whats going on?
Lost....................
Muffled :-(

 

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