Posted by Daisym on January 27, 2006, at 12:03:54
In reply to OCD is quite a bit better, posted by Dinah on January 27, 2006, at 10:50:01
Illusions aren't all bad. They make life bearable. Walking around in absolute reality really would make you suicidal within the week.
And you have lost a significant chunk of your identity. This, in and of itself, is quite terrifying. The new, stronger emerging you isn't someone you were striving to be. Giving up the dependency on your therapist was not a goal. And yet, here you are.
A friend of mine keeps telling me that sometimes you have to have a complete melt down so that you can pour yourself into a mold and reshape yourself. These processes are painful and involve destruction, high heat (anger?), isolation and external decorating. But the end result is something to be proud of, a gift to the world.
I'm hoping for that, for you and for me.
And I don't think you were ever client #999. If this were true, he would have cut you loose when he went to Europe. I think he does care but his life is out of balance and he isn't being effective. The mourning you are doing for the lost relationship is understandable. You can't go back, but now you have to decide if you want to go forward. Sometimes memories are better than the present reality.
I'm sorry Dinah. You've had such a tough year. I hate that you are walking proof that bad things happen to good people. (((Dinah)))
poster:Daisym
thread:603404
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/603427.html