Posted by cricket on January 25, 2006, at 15:38:07
In reply to I got a question tooo..., posted by muffled on January 25, 2006, at 14:30:35
Hey Muffled.
I owe you an e-mail. I'll get it out soon.
Anyway, yes my t and I have had major issues with this.
We both come from very different worlds.
And yes, I think it is difficult for him to understand sometimes. He has a tendency to think some things are big deals (like being heckled on the subway) when they are nothing to me.
Other things like growing up on government cheese or being evicted from an apartment he has no idea about.
Also, I think there was a lot of jealousy on my part too.
He seemed to have all of these things and choices which only money and a high position can get you.
But then I had this dream one night. It went like this.
I was living in this one little room - just big enough for a bed. I was sleeping. My t comes in and wakes me up. My first narcissistic thought was I just woke up I can't talk to you I need to take a shower I need to brush my teeth.
Then as I was rushing off to do that, I thought but why is he here it must be something important.
So I go back to my little room and my T is now in my bed and he is sick, like dying sick. He is curled into a fetal position and is moaning in agony. He has stripped down to his underwear and it is threadbare and none too clean either. He looks incredibly frail and skinny.
Instead of being disgusted I felt this heart crushing compassion for him. I wanted to gather him up in my arms.
So even though this was all a dream and I am sure means a bunch of other things, since that time I haven't focused so much on our differences and realize that he suffers, has suffered, will suffer. Just like me.
So maybe your T is the same way. She might not get the specifics of your situation but she gets the essence of it, I bet.
poster:cricket
thread:602686
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/602722.html