Posted by Poet on January 14, 2006, at 10:56:23
Honestly, what is with me? I sat there the whole time trying to convince my T to agree that I am a failure at everything and that everything bad that's ever happened to me is my fault.
Even when she counteracted with, *but in the past you've saids, you've admitteds, how can ____be your faults.* It's amazing she didn't roll her eyes and say *oh, God, not THIS AGAIN.* Though I did get a *you probably aren't going to listen to me anyway, but I've told you before that you are trying to project your feelings onto me. I don't see you that way.*
*I wish you could find a distraction, something to keep your mind occupied that you don't run your negative thought tape over and over.* Yeah, me, too, but that negative thought train is at full speed.
I don't know why I take some kind of comfort at emotionally or physically hurting myself, but I do. I don't know why I try so hard to convince my T that this is okay, it's what I deserve.
I just plain don't know.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:599016
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/599016.html