Posted by Dinah on December 16, 2005, at 13:57:57
In reply to Re: Good news and bad news » Dinah, posted by fairywings on December 16, 2005, at 12:31:33
I don't like the way I feel on Risperdal, all rational and not very empathetic. And anorgasmic and with cognitive difficulty.
But I don't think I can stop it. A couple of days off of it and I was a bawling wreck this morning. Apparently it's a strong antidepressant for me. Go figure.
I don't want to give up on my therapist. I want to have a commitment to him even when he's not at his best. But it's somehow much worse to be alone with him than it is to be alone by myself. I just don't know if I can stand it.
I told him I didn't need him to be at his best. I didn't need him to say brilliant things. I didn't need him to be in a good mood. I just needed his *presence*. To have him be really there, not just going through the motions. I could take a flawed or hurting therapist/mom, but not an absent one. I asked if that was a bad thing, or the wrong thing to want from therapy. He said it wasn't. That there were theories that said that's how therapy worked. I don't remember reading any, but I'll take his word for it.
Hopefully his plan will work. It sounds not dissimilar to what I do *before* therapy. And it might even have nice symbolic overtones. Sort of consecrating the space. He wants to take a few moments of silence at the beginning of the session to consider what in each of us might stand in the way of genuine connection.
poster:Dinah
thread:589449
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/589596.html