Posted by B2chica on December 15, 2005, at 8:58:33
In reply to mother daughter (long)**Trigger**, posted by B2chica on December 14, 2005, at 9:29:51
ok, yesterday i wrote down what i said in the post and after about 20 minutes of fluff talk i finally read it to him, not making eye contact once mind you. i feel So incredibly dirty, dirty and bad girl. sex is dirty, sexuality is dirty, my body is dirty. i am a sick little girl. vulnerable, used and hurt.
me, i'm glad i felt comfortable enough to just blurt this stuff out. i felt really nasious (?) after i told him. like i just threw up, a little lighter but still feeling sick.
i think i'm still in stunned mode. i can't believe he thought my 'mother' was innappropriatley doing things to me, he said she was sexually abusing me. i can't help but feel like a liar, that i'm making her out to be the 'bad guy'. after all, now i can deal with her in small bits of time. i think she did only what she knew best? i don't think she hurt me on purpose? could she have? she did when i was a teen but that young? i'm making her into a demon when i should be the one ashamed and embarrassed for what i've said about her.kinda self-loathing right now.
sorry.confused
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:588954
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/589298.html