Posted by orchid on December 3, 2005, at 1:15:54
In reply to This is what I am going to tell him next, posted by happyflower on December 2, 2005, at 10:09:54
What you have said makes so much of sense. Sometimes, therapists want to get things moving so that they feel a sense of doing something. Just talking about things all the time might become somewhat boring to them so they might unconsciously look for some action.But you as an individual have to know what you are really capable of and what you are not. I was adviced by my both therapists to leave my marraige many many times. But I knew I was not capable of being alone, so didn't act on it.
Also you will have to perhaps weigh much more things if you decide to get a divorce. How your children will be affected. Will you be able to find a suitable partner? What if you fall sick and get some chronic illness? What if you like someone and they are married. - Because I understand you are around 35, and most good guys in that age range would be married and most likely have kids also. So you may not find someone else easily. Even if you find someone else, if they have kids, are you willing to take that?
Don't leave your marriage in the hope of having an affair or marrying your T. If you really think your T wants to marry you and you are soulmates, ask him to leave his marriage first before you leave yours. I personally think he won't leave his marriage. So put your full efforts on your marriage and leave the rest of the things for later. I would also think you need to keep divorce and issuing ultimatums as the worst scenario as it is much harder to follow through the ultimatums.
poster:orchid
thread:584493
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584858.html