Posted by Voce on December 1, 2005, at 20:41:15
In reply to back from docs, and more about therapy, posted by happyflower on December 1, 2005, at 17:12:19
HF, I hope you don't get upset when people comment on your therapy now, because you asked them to after all.....
<Then we talked about having affairs. He said married people should have affairs with married people and single people should have them with single people. When both are married, neither want to get caught and both are just as busy with their families on holidays. He was just kidding but he does have a point.>
Um, I guess. I don't see how this helps you therapeutically. Do you see this as a veiled invitation? Just curious.
<He even sang a winter in wonderland song because it was snowing outside, but I was in no happy mood for it at the beginning the session.>Sounds like he was happy to see you!
<He did tell me about his mothers passive aggressive things she used to do to his father that was kinda of funny. He said both of his parents were very good parents but just not a good marriage. But they have been married for over 60 years. >
Since my former T was NOT into self-disclosure, I know I would have been uncomfortable with this. But then again, didn't you ask him?
<Do your T's ever pressure you to do things? My T is really is kinda pressuring me to give my DH ultimatiums in my marriage at the begining of the year. I just don't know if I am up to it, and I am not ready to do it either. I told him today that I didn't really want to. Of course he wanted to know why. Well he said how can you be any more miserable than you are.>
My T never pressured me. Of course, had he done so, I would have reacted with BACK OFF BUSTER (transference relating to my dad). But I don't think a T should be pressuring you to give up on your marriage if you're not ready....he's supposed to help you weigh the implications of divorcing or staying. Sounds like he cares about you and doesn't want you to have to be in this unhappy marriage, but that is only his personal opinion after all. His professional opinion is what you need, IMHO, and the fact that he is pressuring you to leave your hubby, coupled with his attraction to you, doesn't that seem a little interesting?
<He said it would really sad for me to stay in an emotionless, sexless dead marriage at my age.>
Yeah....but that's sad for anyone at any age. He may feel that it's sad, but only you can make the decision, you know? I guess if a T of mine was saying that, it would make me uncomfortable.
This is just my $.02!!! I hope you're not pissed off at me. You are a really different person than I am (I can just tell by reading your posts) and what is good for me may not be good for you. That's my disclaimer. In the end, I know you are a smart, savvy woman and will do what is best!!!
poster:Voce
thread:584226
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584334.html