Posted by happyflower on December 1, 2005, at 13:26:37
Very mentally exhausting. I don't know if I can remember everything, we talked a lot. He noticed right away, I wasn't feeling too hot. He was at the gym today, and I wasn't, he asked me why I didn't go, and I said I didn't feel like it. Which was true, but I also didn't want to run into him this time.
He didn't look too good today, and I told him that he looked very tired. He asked was it because of his posture, he was sort of holding up his head, I said no, it was his eyes. He said he sleep fine last night then he dropped the topic. But his face was all puffy too, and I didn't want to tell him he looked like hell again, LOL, but he did. Then he straightened up his posture, lol.
Well we talked about why I was feeling so bad, and yes it was because of my DH. But he tried to guess, thinking I was thinking I was sad because it could be my last Christmas as a family. I said no I wasn't thinking that, (but thanks a lot for putting that depressing thought into my head). It was just too hard to keep up the act of happiness around the kids doing the traditional stuff.Then I asked him that one question about growing up in a house with parents with an unhappy marriage. He actually answered me. I asked about what age he realized they were unhappy. He realized it at a young age around 9 or 10 but he found a business card for marriage counceling (because he was snooping) LOL But he said younger than that he remembers them arguing out loud a lot and it would make him sad and he cried.
Then I asked him that it seems that he and his siblings are all well adjusted and sucessful, and do you think it is because his parents stayed together even if the marriage was bad. Well then he told me how "not well adjusted they are". Which by the way 2 other siblings in his family are T's and they have major problems too. WoW! Well then we went on to talk about kids in divorce situations, bad marriage families, and happy marriages.
We talked about mediacations for sleeping, and what to tell my doctor today at my appointment.
My T didn't say I was actually depressed, and I didn't ask. But he could tell I wasn't doing too well, at least compared to when he talked to me on the phone and at the last appointment.We mostly talked about marriage stuff and it took up the whole time, we even went over 15 minutes. No flirting today, all was serious. I didn't throw my panties at him either and we didn't talk about that. And no, I didn't tell him of my attraction, I don't think I could take it today even if there was time. I am sure he knows it.
We did agree to see each other in 2 weeks instead of once a month. I feel a little better, but just exhausted. I was teary eyed the whole time, but I didn't cry. He is really pushing me to after the holidays, to start giving my DH ultimatiums concerning our marriage. I just don't know if I can do that.
Well I am sure we talked about more stuff, I just can't remember. I think I am going to try to get a short nap before my doct. appointment.
Oh, by the way, I don't have to call him DR. B***** anymore, he wants me to call him by his first name. Talk later! :)
poster:happyflower
thread:584226
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584226.html