Posted by allisonross on November 2, 2005, at 7:31:14
In reply to Re: I've lived on banana splits all week . . .(tri » allisonross, posted by StrawberriesYum on November 1, 2005, at 18:23:06
> Hi, sweetie: The things that helped me plug in a little bit, were my daughter got a very slight touch of the flu Sunday night, and threw up every now and then for 3 hours. She was very tired, and curled up on my lap, head against shoulder, and fell asleep. She's just turned 7. She hasn't cuddled in my lap like that since about 18 months old or younger.
What a wonderful, loving feeling.
>
> I held her in my lap, asleep, for half an hour, and just the beauty of it, the comfort, the very physical affection and absolute childlike love and trust she showed as she held on and drifted off to sleep, were very . . . good for me. And while I was comforting her, I told her I'd always be there whenever she needs comfort. A minute later, I realized as I was still considering suicide, that that promise would be a lie if I ended my life.yes
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> A few other things included a phone call from my SIL, the good one (as opposed to the witchy one).
>
> Thanks for wanting to know. Also, for the first time my ologist had to reschedule my appt. He called about 1/2 hour before, this morning, and sincerely apologized and seemed distressed that he had forgotten he'd be in a conference this week during our appointment time. We rescheduled for Thursday. I will listen to a couple of taped sessions, to kind of tide me over. He has encouraged my taping of our sessions. I love having access to these.I used to do that, and then my (now ex-husband) listened to them (he was always violating my boundaries), so I stopped.
>
> I did let him know about my "attempt" last Friday night, and let him know I seemed to be coming out of it. I related a few things. And he replied with something about it being good that I employed some coping skills to get through it. He seemed even more concerned, though, that we made sure to get me in on Thursday.
>
> Anyhoo, I'm new so people probably don't care,I am new too, but I believe everyone here, cares. I've been disappointed, because I posted a few intense messages, and only a few people responded, but I try to put it into perspective.
but there's answers and an update. Lol. Oh, my daughter was fine for Halloween, thank goodness.
Yes, whenever you feel suicidal, think of your daughter. perhaps keep a journal, and write down every time you feel this way, and what would happen to your daughter if you did that.
Someone once said: "suicide is a permanent solution to a a temporary problem."
Sounds like you have a good therapist; you hang in there, things CAN get better. Little baby steps, a little at a time.
Hugs, Ally (you can e-mail me, if you like: wacalice@aol.com
poster:allisonross
thread:573658
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/574440.html