Posted by Pfinstegg on October 30, 2005, at 10:01:35
In reply to Tale Tales **May be big trigger for some, csa**, posted by antigua on October 30, 2005, at 9:17:45
Yes, I'm so sad to say. My father molested me when I was six, but then, as I grew older, he became very cold, critical and rejecting. He didn't leave the family, but he began beating me severely, over little things I hardly thought were wrong. My analyst has said a number of times that the sequence of sexual abuse followed by emotional and/or physical abuse, is very common. It's a way for them to control their impulses, (by emphasizing negative things about you), and also to blame YOU for causing them to lose control and molest you.
It's the saddest thing in the world, just as you are saying. Everyone longs for a safe and loving father. There's no way to look at it without it hurting terribly. The only good new thing is- there is a very caring, empathic therapist with us now who will stay with us as we go through the terrible remembering, and who is dedicated to helping us heal from such horrible experiences. People have done that, before us, so I feel confident and hopeful that we can, too.
What you described about a present-day rejection: try not to hurt too much about that, or let it be too important.. When you begin regaining your confidence, I feel sure that you will be much less likely to get involved with people who are rejecting.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:573261
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/573339.html