Posted by Tamar on October 27, 2005, at 20:04:29
In reply to Re: hugs in general (ramble alert!), posted by caraher on October 27, 2005, at 9:00:15
> I'm not sure just how other men feel about this, but for me hugs are a kind of touchy (no pun intended) subject, mostly because I consider myself largely hug-deprived. I have never in my life refused *anyone* a hug, but I'm not a hug-initiator. The only person I really feel I can hug just because I feel like it is my wife... well, or my sons.
I can relate to that. I’m pretty shy really and I don’t usually initiate hugs because I’m afraid of being rejected, although I really like them.
> So I guess the desire to be hugged specifically by a man seems fairly natural and innocent to me, and it may have been present regardless of any past history of abuse.
That’s a nice way of looking at it. I like that idea.
> Sad to say, over 20 years later I'm still bitter about this. When she does hug me now (which she almost *never* did back when I was in high school) I always think, "Too late." Yeah, I'm a bit of a jerk about this.
I don’t think you’re being a jerk. Clearly you still feel hurt. That kind of experience makes a lasting impression. I’m sorry she didn’t hug you at the time when you needed it.
> Anyway, I wish I could give everyone here who needs one a real hug.
Yeah, that would be nice! Hugs to you too.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:572044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/572501.html