Posted by Tamar on October 19, 2005, at 19:07:33
In reply to When you react with pain to your T, posted by Racer on October 18, 2005, at 14:09:07
For me the key word is the word ‘magnet’. I can understand why it sent you over the edge. I think there should be a list of banned words and phrases that therapists should never be allowed to utter… and suggesting that someone is a magnet for bad experiences should be somewhere near the start of the list.
I honestly don’t know why it’s so hard for people to believe that you can have one bad experience but you can’t have several (especially of the same kind). Actually, I do have a theory (I have far too many theories…): my theory is that people who don’t understand math are more likely to believe there that coincidental occurrences are actually related. So the idea is that there is some kind of internal coherence in a set of bad experiences, or some kind of significance (which isn’t really true). However, people who understand mathematical probabilities are likely to understand that the same kind of thing happening several times isn’t really unusual. I don’t think I’m explaining this very well… what I mean is that the chances of lightning striking in the same place twice (or ten times) are much higher than most people realise. And similarly, the likelihood of being repeatedly brushed aside or dismissed by people is much higher than most of us want to believe…
I am glad you talked about it with your T. I hope she thinks twice before using the m-word again!
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:568567
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/568996.html