Posted by B2chica on September 16, 2005, at 11:21:39
In reply to Re: cutting***BIG trigger***, posted by muffled on September 16, 2005, at 11:12:10
yep, i'm a cutter. and i was clean for a couple months (longest in years) but i have cut a couple times. my problem is i have so much emotion (pain and hurt) that i want to do severe damage, those times i abstain which of course makes my depression worse. though three days ago i did cut a little and i was safe.
i just feel like i'm walking straight up a steep hill against a 100 mph wind, i'm physically and mentally exhausted.
i have no strength to hang on so i need someone to hold me up.
i couldn't get in to see my pdoc till next thursday. i love him to pieces but his staff is not adequate. not good communication. pdoc told me he wants to see me asap like today, and that his secretary would call me to set up a time. they never called so i called this morning and they kept saying he was booked for about a month. i had to say several times that i talked to him yesterday ON THE PHONE and HE SAID to make appt. ASAP!!
Finally they got me in next thursday. whole week away.
i'm scared of this weekend. i mean right now, i think i'm ok, but i dont know what this weekend will bring.
i know the hospital is always an option but...this fight is waring me out.
thanks for all your support.
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:555592
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555653.html