Posted by cricket on September 10, 2005, at 16:13:52
In reply to Re: Lying Therapist » cricket, posted by Tamar on September 9, 2005, at 20:58:58
Thanks Tamar.
> It seems to me that you’ve been working quite hard on trying to feel attached to him and he seems to be a little ambivalent about it. It may be partly a matter of his personal ‘style’; perhaps he’s not sure what your attachment would mean for him professionally. And maybe you’re a little ambivalent about it too, in which case, perhaps he isn’t dealing terribly well at the moment with your ambivalence.Yeah, I think there's something there. Does he feel if I attach to him, I might be too needy maybe? That's hardly my style though.
Or is it possible that he is trying to wall himself off (and that's what it feels like sometimes) because he's afraid that if I trust, attach, depend on him the whole tinderbox of whatever feelings he is sitting on (positive or negative, I have no idea which) might explode?>
> I dunno… It seems to me that you have been making progress, but that your progress happens to have coincided with his feeling deskilled, and maybe he would feel less deskilled in relation to you if he knew that you have been working hard to try to trust him. But of course I don’t know all the details.
>
Yeah, maybe he is feeling a little deskilled. I don't know. I think it is inevitable that treating someone like me would make a therapist feel like that. But he should know that.
> And the other thing is that if you are attempting to trust him you might be feeling uncomfortable with the vulnerability that involves, and sending confused signals to him, which might account for his strange reactions.
>
Oh I'm sure I am sending confused signals. I AM very confused. I wish he would help me figure it out.> I suppose I’m concerned because it seems as if you’re on the verge of something big, but if you back away from him now you’re walking away from a potential source of support.
Well he's never been a source of support. That could be because I don't let him be, although I long for it. But for whatever the reason, I have never felt supported by him. Babble is my only source of support.
>
poster:cricket
thread:552671
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/553297.html