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Re: I still want to be friends with my therapist :( » pinkeye

Posted by Tamar on August 5, 2005, at 5:56:59

In reply to Re: I still want to be friends with my therapist :( » Tamar, posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 13:01:01

> How about an online discussion group for men where you could also participate? Would that help?

You mean if I pretended to be a man? Hmm… I wonder if I could get away with it. I’m too curvy in real life, but online’s a different story…

> I can understand the feelings about missing male friends. I used to have 3 - 4 guys as close buddies before marriage, and now, though I am still friends with them, we have all moved to different cities, and countries, and the contact is only minimal. Occassional emails and phone calls, and that is about it. But I wish I had more of those kinds of platonic male friends.

Yeah. It’s so nice to be friends with men who aren’t partners.

> Do you have male colleagues? Or no? If so, could you become friends with them? I am little friendly with couple of my male colleagues, but they are more of acquaintance type than actual friends. But I really loved having male friends and I miss it too.

I have a few male colleagues, and I like them as colleagues, but there’s only one I have anything in common with, and he’s 30 years older than me.

> I think you are right about the fact that perhaps that is what your therapist meant the most to you. Even sex comes next I think. But the real friendship and someone to talk to about is the one that you probably miss. Maybe you can go for a brief tuning or check in with him, and maybe you would feel good.

I think about that occasionally. I think about seeing him. But I know it would be very hard to see him just once or twice. I would want to keep seeing him. I think I’m still working through the pain of losing him, and probably seeing him again would make it even harder. I’m trying to make myself wait six months after termination before I even consider seeing him. It’s been four months. Maybe in another two months I’ll stop getting these little episodes of grief. Or maybe they’ll be less intense. It’s better now than it was two months ago… And in the mean time I’ll try to spend a little more time with MEN!


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