Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 13:01:01
In reply to I still want to be friends with my therapist :(, posted by Tamar on August 4, 2005, at 8:01:12
How about an online discussion group for men where you could also participate? Would that help?
I can understand the feelings about missing male friends. I used to have 3 - 4 guys as close buddies before marriage, and now, though I am still friends with them, we have all moved to different cities, and countries, and the contact is only minimal. Occassional emails and phone calls, and that is about it. But I wish I had more of those kinds of platonic male friends.
Do you have male colleagues? Or no? If so, could you become friends with them? I am little friendly with couple of my male colleagues, but they are more of acquaintance type than actual friends. But I really loved having male friends and I miss it too.
I think you are right about the fact that perhaps that is what your therapist meant the most to you. Even sex comes next I think. But the real friendship and someone to talk to about is the one that you probably miss. Maybe you can go for a brief tuning or check in with him, and maybe you would feel good.
> I think it’s finally clear to me why I’m still having fantasies about establishing a friendship with my former therapist…
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> I’ve always had lots of male friends, until quite recently. In the last few years a few of my male friends have moved away, and although we keep in touch a bit it’s not the same as having them in the same town.
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> I have some close female friends and I love them dearly. But I miss male friendship. Of course my husband is my friend, but it’s not the same as having friends who haven’t fathered my children!
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> It seems so hard to make friends with new men, especially now I’m married with children. If I were looking for places to meet men for romance I’d know where to go. But where do I meet men for friendship?
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> I met a perfectly nice man a few months ago; he’s interesting and intelligent and funny. We have somewhat similar backgrounds and a few interests in common. He’s not looking for an affair, and neither am I. I know my husband and kids would like him. But he was my therapist. Argh!
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> Maybe he has a brother…
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poster:pinkeye
thread:537388
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/537453.html