Posted by Tamar on July 31, 2005, at 16:02:08
In reply to Talking about Sex (potential trigger), posted by Daisym on July 28, 2005, at 19:13:16
Wow, Daisy, that sounds like an amazing session (I typed that 'amazon' first - Freudian slip?).
I'm so pleased that you were able to talk about your thoughts about what it might be like with him. In my experience, I had to imagine the possibility of sex feeling safe before I could ever begin to feel it was safe. And since my therapist seemed to be the embodiment of safety, he was the only person I could imagine feeling safe with, sexually. (Sometimes I still imagine he's next to me, holding my hand. I hope that's not too weird.)
I was really struck with your therapist's comment that he knows you're wounded because you've shared yourself with him, and so the hard part, the intimacy, has already happened. It rings so true. I think it's a good thing to be able to imagine what sexual intimacy could be like with someone who really knows where you're coming from, someone who knows where you live (metaphorically).
I don't think he'll ever think you're asking for something inappropriate. To be honest, I don't think he'd consider it inappropriate even if you came right out and asked him for sex. But I do think there's a lot of potential there for some really good discussion about what you need sexually.
You're so brave, Daisy. I admire you so much.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:534972
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/536027.html