Posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 1:36:30
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me?, posted by muffled on July 30, 2005, at 21:54:45
> > Thank you, (((Muffled)))
> >
> > today the pain is so bad. i can barely sit down, i have to lay down. the psychDr couldn'thelp with meds but called the pain management dr- who wouldn't replace the morphine that i had a bad reaction for something that i could take- so the pain dr called me back and offered to help a little, with advice and offered more patches if i would give him the name of the gyn DR that i'm seeing next week. i didn't give him the name because i want the new Dr to have a fresh view of me. i hope that the new dr will give me a diagnosis for my pain and treat me or help me find pain control.
> >
> > i went on Duragesic patches- it was all i had, and oxycodone breakthrough caps, trying to replace what i was taking the past 18 months- 60mg of oxycontin 3 times a day with oxycodone for breakthrough pain
> > with a 50mg Duragesic patch and the oxycodone breakthrough, trying to take as little as i need to conserve and get me through until i can see the new Dr. i'm in so much pain.
> > The pain management Dr said to go to hospital for withdrawal but i can't withdraw- the pain is way too bad. i need pain control.
> > i forgot how much pain that i was in - the oxycontin worked so well. It's impossible to not have pain control. It's way too severe. i found out yesterday while waiting for the patch to work and today the pain is so so bad, even with the patch and the oxycodone- i'm taking four of the 5 mg every four hours - it's not enough.
> > it's scary to have uncontrollable pain.
> > i hope that the new dr can help me and i hope that i can make it through until then.
> >
> > Thanks for being there, going to bed.
> > kerria
> >
>
> Maybe its just me, but it seems as if you are being evasive with your doctors as far as giving them names etc. I expect that raises HUGE red flags for them and may be some of the source of your problems with them. This is just me guessing. I haven't (fortunately) had to deal with doctors alot, but its similiar with cops etc.( Authority figures),they can pick up on evasiveness pretty quick and get awfully suspicious of a persons motives for being evasive in the first place. Well, I don't know whether this makes sense or not. Remember, hang on, your not alone, things WILL eventually get better. Keep posting so's we know your all right. Take care.
hi Muffled,My only motive is to get out of the severe pain that i'm in. That's why i was referred to the pain management Dr by my PCP in the first place. i had many tests and surgery and still was in severe pain. Then i was sent to the Pain management Dr . He was the one to try me on different medications to find relief and nothing was working until he put me on ocycontin. It worked so well that i forgot that i had the pain most of the time- until seven hours were up and i needed to take it again.
i went on like this for about eighteen months. All of a sudden last month The Dr started having a negative attitude against me. He started complaining that i didn't have a diagnosis. i had already went to a gyn Dr for surgery, had everything out and a lot of adhesions from all the previous surgeries, i have too many immuniogloblins in my blood . That was followed up with a hematologist/oncologist. There were three bone marrow biopsies taken to see if it was turning into multiple myeloma. It hasn't - the level has stayed low and there is no treatment. The bone marrow may have been injured because of an exposure to pesticides during a spill that happened applying a fungicide at my job or all the fertilizers that were applied by the work person part. Now i don't apply anything dangerous because they took me off applications since the blood problem. i'm doing all i can do to not make it worse.
For some reason, i'm still having severe pain although no definative cause is known. All the possibilities have been surgically removed and PET scans taken. This pain management Dr was happy to treat me but now says he's not. He says that he's afraid of losing his license because i don't have a diagnosis, maybe the DEA is bothering him. i don't know. i've been honest in everything. i never took more than prescribed and i never took more than i needed to get out of pain. My dose hasn't changed in the last six months or so.Now there is a negative attitude - one reason is that while i was having a nerve block procedure i started switching and a little became hysterical and afraid. i don't have control over my parts all the time and am not able to communicate very well with my parts. The pain management dr is not understanding what DID iss, although my psychitrist has called him a few times. The pain DR started saying things to me like- "What if you're on pain medicines because of botched therapy(He knows that i have PTSD- i didn't tell him that i had DID- i don't think)?" He's thinking that my pain is psychological. It's not. It's sharp and severe and constant.
i know that i need to have a diagnosis so i am seeing another gyn Dr next week that specializes in pelvic nerve pain besides Gyn. i hope that he will be able to help me. If he sees me before he talks to the Pain Management Dr, who is very negative towards me now, thinking that i'm a mental case and a drug seeker now. It's only fair to me to have the Gyn pelvic pain Dr see me without the preconceived false ideas that DID is equal to a drug seeker and lawbreaker that takes medicine for psychological pain. He talks like he thinks that now sometimes. He keeps changing his story.
i need help so much and i hope this new DR will understand, believe and give a diagnosis for the severe pain- and continue my treatment for it. i hope that he doesn't have any of the false assumptions that the pain Dr started having about me. If he does than i won't be treated for my severe chronic pain and i'll have to keep looking for a dr that can help me.
Or maybe if the gyn dr gives the diagnosis the pain management dr will still treat me- i don't know. i'll gladly give the new Dr my pain mangement dr's name. i just want the new Dr to see me and examine me without talking to the Pain management Dr first. He's so negative against me now and it's hard to understand why he couldn't wait another few days so i see a gyn dr and get the diagnosis. He's making me get off the medicine that was working and put me in a dangerous place and in pain again, looking through my drawers for medicines to hold me over until i can see the new pelvic pain gyn Dr. It's hard for me to see gyn drs, also, which is why i delayed to keep trying to find another one. i went to two already, this year and last and they refered me to have pain management! i need one gyn to recognize and diagnose real pain? i guess that's it. And give it a name so everybody can be happy.There has to be a dr to do that somewhere because i'm in real pain. Terribly bad pain that is impossible to live in without medical help.
It's so painful and frustrating to be in this situation. There are even more things that i could bring out about how unfair the negativity is towards me but i won't. i didn't do anything wrong and have never had a drug abuse problem before or now. i've never been evasive with this Dr about anything. i've told him almost everything else about the new dr. - the day, where, his specialty. i have nothing to hide.
It's scary to depend upon other to treat severe pain. what if the drs choose to torture me by not treating my pain? They have so much power. It's so scary to have severe pain. i'm totally incapacitated by it. i won't be able to work and i'll be bedridden if i don't have treatment.
i have to trust that someone will help me,
kerria
poster:kerria
thread:533186
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/535884.html