Posted by pinkeye on July 22, 2005, at 17:56:10
In reply to Follow up to its been...., posted by Jadah on July 22, 2005, at 16:30:06
I am happy for you - that you are still happy.. And I am sorry to hear about your cancer.. I hope it goes into remission..
And I am happy that you are still able to work it out with your T - these things are so very complex, and there is never a straight answer.. I worry for your T's wife - and it seems very unfair to her. I also worry about your future - what you would do, and how you would manage parting with your T if it comes to that.. It is so incredibly difficult to separate from a T without an affair - I wonder how it would be to part ways when you end up having an actual affair.. I hope it goes well for all of you concerned.
You always have our support and well wishes. Don't worry too much about your affair - if that is what it takes, then that is what it takes..
> Good news-my T and Italked. I do not feel that I am in need of therapy any longer. He has helped me that much. I have officially quit seeing him as a patient and I am ok with that. I will probably find someone else, short term, to process my feelings of loss. My T asked me where I feel I would be today had our affair never transpired. I think I would probably have killed myself. I would be an emotional mess at the very least and not wanting to go on. Our relationship, every aspect of it has molded and helped shape who I am right now, and where it is I want to go. I regret nothing and am very grateful for our relationship. Whats different now? I am ready to move on (soooon), I feel that with where I am at now in life I can finally go on without him. He doesnt complete me anymore, I am whole. I couldnt say that before. We both agreed this will end soon, that we both love eachother but we love our partners as well. We also know that we could never have a life together (full time). He no longer holds all of the control (when it will end, when i will see him...) Our break up will be a mutaul thing and that is where the healing will come a little easier for me. We will still have contact, to what degree i dont know we didnt get into that much detail. I feel, and i told him, that he has helped make my life where it is today, and it only seems right that he is around to see where it goes. That is important to me. Plus, If I dont beat this cancer..... I want his face to be the last that i see. Look forward to hearing back. Dont always have access to a pc but i will return! take care
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poster:pinkeye
thread:531728
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/531779.html