Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2005, at 18:56:20
In reply to Re: I need to find an old thread., posted by Tamar on July 5, 2005, at 16:13:11
I dunno. I think growing up is something that happens to me totally against my will. :)
I'm trying to remember back to that time, and I can't really. Daddy tossed me off my lap when I started getting older. My therapist says that's a good thing. It didn't feel good. I think Mother and I started fighting and I didn't want to get anywhere near her, so there was no natural progression.
I think I remember that I came to the conclusion that I need to need him. That not needing him was scary in and of itself. And that the fact that if I really need him less, it won't bother me that I need him less didn't really hold true. *Needing* itself provides something valuable to me. Something I don't want to lose. The fact that I might no longer get that much satisfaction from what I used to need isn't nearly as important as the loss that comes from not needing it. It doesn't lead me to say "Ok, I don't really need it anymore." Instead it leads me to be terrified at the loss of the need.
I guess it doesn't make much sense. :(
I've really come to understand lately that my therapist really isn't all that insightful. And he has a lot of limitations as a therapist. I guess not understanding this is another of those limitations.
I'm trying to take into account that he's got a lot of stress in his life right now with a sick family member. But instead I keep thinking how totally lame he is.
Now if that isn't an adolescent phase of development type of statement, I don't know what is.
Sigh. I hated adolescence.
poster:Dinah
thread:523767
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/523926.html