Posted by happyflower on July 3, 2005, at 12:40:57
In reply to Re: I quit therapy today » happyflower, posted by Tamar on July 3, 2005, at 7:50:24
> I’m sure he will take you back. I can’t see any reason not to.
I hope you are right, I never meant to quit.
> There’s something about this whole story that I find quite uncomfortable: it’s that when he said he was a good liar he seemed to be contrasting himself with your husband. At least that’s the way I read it (maybe it didn’t happen like that). It seemed to me that you said your husband was a bad liar and your therapist responded with something like, “Well (unlike your husband) I’m a good liar.”
Okay, this makes a lot of sense, but it is a thought I had much later. When T tried to explain what he meant, he said that perhaps my husband is lying and that I can't read him as well as I think. Well this is pertaining to if my husband is cheating on me. I don't know what is worse thinking my DH cheating on me or my T lying to me.Well when I entered therapy in Jan. I was living in a box with my family. So many people in my life has let me down and pooped on me that I was unable and didn't want to even try to trust anyone else.
But when things happened with my mother and I started to suffer from PTSD because of it, I knew I needed help.
The first thing I needed to learn was to trust my T. It took several months and little by little I came to trust him. It felt good and I saw the rewards in being with other people can bring. I know my T relationship isn't a personal one , but it was the closest thing to one that I have had in years.
Because of learning to trust him, it gave me convidence to pursue other people very slowly. He showed me that people can be good and maybe I can have faith in the human race again. I am talking on these boards, talking to strangers in the grocery store, and I am slowly learning how to be friend with a few neighboors because of this trust. I am much more "open" to people. Trusting my T has been my rock to lean on, especially since my current life is on the rocks like my marriage. But I am going on and still trying to do what I have learned in therapy. I learning to become a better more
rounded person.
Well in my last session he talked about termination and he said he was a good lier. I felt he was giving up on me, even when we are just getting to nitty gitty of things. The trust in my T is what gave me strength to change my life, now is he lying? It shook my safe place I felt I had with him, and make me question if everything he said was all lies to me. It shook my convidence in him. I need to be able to go to therapy and feel safe and trust him. I know in personal relationships you can't always count on this. But in a T relationship, is this something I should have to worry about? Shouldn't I feel safe to do my work with him?
I realize that he probably didn't see the weight of his words at the moment and how I would take them. I am sure he didn't mean to do this, I feel it was poor judgement on his part to use "himself" saying he is a bad liar especially with a client who has trust issues. If you can't trust your T , who can you trust? It would be like telling a client with a past history of abuse that he is good at hitting his wife. He should of used someone else as an example.
With my future so up in the air, I need to have a safe place where I don't have to worry if the other person is going to hurt me. My convidence in this has been shaken with him.
But one difference, when normally I would just end a relationship when someone did this to me, I am wanting to work this out with him. I am telling him I am sorry for overreacting to my anger and scared feelings. I guess I have built some trust in him, even though it is less now, I still want to work this out. He has let me down, and I told him this, I hope he will undertand this when or if I get a chance to see him again and explain it. My life is so much bettter since working with him, I would hate to start all over.
He has been able to get through to me when nobody else even came close. I don't think he knows what kind of impact he has had on my life. I plan on telling him this. It is hard for me to really open up, but he deserves to know how I really feel about what he has helped me change my life to be so much more rewarding then ever. I hope I get the chance to tell him this. :) I am feeling so nervous about it right now.
> But I’m sure he’ll take you back because it does seem to be what people call a ‘therapeutic opportunity’.
>
I hope so because I feel my emotions are pouring out of me. I need him, I hope he knows that.
poster:happyflower
thread:522069
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/522929.html