Posted by daisym on July 1, 2005, at 23:16:55
In reply to Re: One week down, posted by cricket2 on July 1, 2005, at 10:00:30
I don't know Cricket, this attachment/dependency has been going strong for at least a year. I want to yank myself back but I can't seem to find a middle ground. I'm either connected fully or not. We've talked a bunch of times about how the younger parts of me are totally connected and need him, but the adult/gate-keeper is suspicious and keeps testing and is very protective of how much to let him in. Especially with adult-type feelings in the room.
I didn't want to cancel my appointment on Tuesday but I have this really big (horrible, awful, very bad - Alexander-type)meeting Wednesday night and I just can't let down until after that is over. I MUST stay closed up and protected or these people will eat me alive and I will go off that suicidal deep end. I'm as sure as my shoes are red. I'm afraid if I see my therapist all the longing and stress of the past two weeks will surface and I'll be too vulnerable to protect myself. Or worse, I'll be furious with him and then not feel like I can reach out for his support. It is much better for me to stay away a few more days.
Thanks for the support. I hope you are right about coming out stronger.
poster:daisym
thread:521817
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/522250.html