Posted by Dinah on June 28, 2005, at 13:58:25
I was telling my therapist that the main issue I wanted to work on was my lack of continuity. The choppiness in my life. Not exactly a lack of memory, tho there's a bit of that, but more like... Well, I know that I did or said or experienced something, but all the meaning of it is just gone. All the feelings, all the meaning. I'm not really sure of the time frame. Things are jumbled. I know I seem the same to others day to day, and I suppose if you asked me my opinion of something, I'd give the same answer. But in other ways it's like each day, maybe even less than a day, stands on its own.
My therapist isn't sure how to help me with that, but he thinks it has to do with my overuse of dissociation. So he wanted me to try to *not* fall into a forgetting sleep.
I immediately went home, felt the urge to hurt myself, simultaneously felt groggy, and fell asleep at my desk.
Other than knowing I felt extremely anxious, I'm not altogether sure why I was feeling upset enough to necessitate a forgetting sleep.
My body's way of saying "Oh no you don't. I'm not giving that up!"?
I don't know how long it was, maybe only ten or fifteen minutes.
My head hurts. And I still feel groggy. And I still feel a bit anxious, and like I want to hurt myself.
I just don't understand myself sometimes. :(
poster:Dinah
thread:520589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/520589.html