Posted by fallsfall on June 22, 2005, at 10:59:43
In reply to Re: Confession (trigger) » fallsfall, posted by gardenergirl on June 22, 2005, at 7:13:36
See? This is why I like to talk about these things on Babble. You get so many different perspectives.
I thought (and still think, I think) that losing 6 hours to a computer game was worse than causing a small scab. So I *WAS* telling him about the "bad" stuff (as far as I knew).
But when I told you guys about the computer stuff and you just accepted it and said it was OK, I needed to tell you that it *wasn't* OK - that there was more to it than that. That I wasn't giving you all the details (I wasn't just "playing a lot of computer games"). And I guess I wanted you all to know that I really, really was anxious. I didn't want you to tell me that what I did was OK - because it didn't feel OK to me.
But at the same time, I didn't want my therapist to tell me that it *wasn't* OK - not because I thought it was OK, but because I already knew it wasn't OK. I wanted him to tell me what to *do* about the fact that it wasn't OK.
And I wore long pants to my therapy session(which cover the scab). I always wear shorts - but I had been to Jury selection that morning and we aren't allowed to wear shorts. I decided not to change because I wanted my therapist to see me "dressed" for jury duty - jeans with a nicer shirt (and a bra!). It did flash through my mind that he wouldn't see the scab. I can dressup for the real world, but look what I'm hiding underneath...
Thank you all for helping me think this through.
poster:fallsfall
thread:516257
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/517036.html