Posted by Dinah on June 17, 2005, at 22:21:50
In reply to Re: I'm afraid but I'm also afraid to post about it » Dinah, posted by Tamar on June 17, 2005, at 17:21:51
My therapist not only gave me a huge handhold, but he also gave a pretty good reason for why it happened to begin with. I feel much stronger, and I don't think I'll be going anywhere immediately.
It turns out that my therapist has been interviewing and negotiating for a job a couple of hours away. He was planning to commute, stay over a few nights, but arrange to have time to see clients friday afternoons, with me especially in mind because he takes his commitment to me seriously and he cares about me. It fell through yesterday.
I probably picked up a lot of ambivalence or worry or something the last few weeks. Or most likely, an increased level of guard up on his part, which made me feel disconnected. And since I didn't know why, I blamed myself for it entirely and felt more and more disconnected.
I'm glad he told me about it. It explains so much. And it certainly gave me something to hold on to. Fear that he's looking for a job, and won't be as available to me as before, even if he is committed to making sure he can see me at least once a week. I'm grateful for that. But I got scared enough that I can tell I certainly do care.
I was just picking up something I didn't understand and internalizing it.
He really ought to let me know a bit of what's going on, so I don't let the subtle changes make me crazy.
poster:Dinah
thread:513692
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/514664.html