Posted by Jazzed on June 14, 2005, at 13:12:33
In reply to cant think of a header, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2005, at 7:39:53
Wow, Alexandra, I'm SO sorry that your appt. went so badly! This sounds very distressing, it's understandable why you're so upset, you have every right to feel this way.
Since you seem to get in a bad way before appointments, and don't want to go into them that way, are you able to do some visualization? If you can just get beyond that initial appointment, and feel good about it, then things might go better. I don't know your situation, but when I'm anxious about an appt. I have to visualize, or I get so worked up it WILL go badly, and I do make the wrong impression.
I would guess that the mood "hung around" because you felt bad about the phone call you had with the T before your appt. Were you berating yourself for that? Don't. It's their job to hear problems, and they understand that people have very bad times. We can't have our bad times on a schedule, so don't be so hard on yourself.
It's good that your p-doc called ahead of time for you, but too bad she didn't see any other point to the appt. What did you do while she was on hold? Did the two of you talk? What was she yelling at you when you left?
I don't think you intentionally sabotaged your appt. I think you just got yourself so worked up that it went badly. Yep, I agree, we all need a "do over" button! That would certainly help with so many things!
As for her asking you if you were stoned. I suppose it's part of her job to have to ask, but she shouldn't badger you about it. Try to blow that off, and move on. Try to replay it in your head, and have her ask you something else instead of that, something positive.
Maybe you could print this out, along with the next post, mail it to her, and tell her that you'd like to start again. That she met you at a bad time, and you felt bad about how things went. I think the way you've expressed yourself here is awesome. I didn't see it as going around and around, I saw it as thinking in writing. Using the forum as a sounding board. You are very good with words and expressing yourself in writing.
Good luck with all of this, and try to visualize another appt. One where you feel good, are very confident, and where you control what's going on at least as much as she does.
Jazzed
poster:Jazzed
thread:512463
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/512594.html