Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2005, at 7:46:31
In reply to cant think of a header, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2005, at 7:39:53
I REALLY don't like myself very much sometimes.
I'm supposed to see my uni councellor on Thursday.
That is two days away.
I think people didn't really follow my thread
(It migrated across boards)
But I was going to really really try
To make a good go of working with her.
And I know my attitude sucks and this probably does count as stabotage
but i dont want her to be my therapist :-(
i mean. she is a good listener. but i can't really talk to her. i dont know. maybe i am stabotaging things. or maybe something is wrong there. maybe im picking up on something and that is why i feel so resistent.i dont know
i hate it when i dont know
i dont know whether to trust my judgment
or whether my judgment is the problem.to be fair...
i guess i do struggle with being there with the t in session.
and it takes a while before it happens.
i have to go through the hurt feelings or whatever of my last termination or two first :-(
but i don't seem to be snapping out of it this time.
maybe its cause something has finally snapped and i can't trust anymore.
maybe its cause i was seeing them both at the same time and thats why i didn't get properly attached
(yes i get that now, that that is why you aren't supposed to do that.)
maybe its because it isn't safe
it doesnt feel safe.but I need to decide.
ive either got to put all the rest of it out of my head and have a good go with her
or...
i dont know.
start hassling community mental health i guess.does anyone have any thoughts at all????
im really open to most things.
i don't know anymore.
i really dont know.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:512463
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/512468.html