Posted by JenStar on June 13, 2005, at 14:36:28
In reply to feeling totally frusterated!, posted by happyflower on June 13, 2005, at 11:28:41
It sounds like a sticky situation! Every time you want to criticize something, you feel you can't because you've been accused of being "too critical." So you have to censor yourself. And then you're not being authentic.
Can you tell him something like, "I feel I can't be honest with you because we talked about me being overly critical. Now I'm afraid to say ANYTHING critical and have it taken seriously, because you've already pre-labeled me as a CRITICAL person and might discount my criticism."
Or say something like, "I understand that I'm critical, perhaps overly critical sometimes. But we both need to understand that while I am sometimes overly critical, at other times my criticism is well-placed and right on the mark. Can you work with me to make sure we both see the differences? For example, I'd like to talk about XXX or YYY. I have a criticicm and I want to be sure that you take it seriously and don't assume that I'm jumping to critical conclusions," or something like that.
It doesn't sound like transference to me. It just sounds like you're at a rocky place in therapy!
good luck!
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:512000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/512082.html