Posted by Tamar on June 13, 2005, at 12:54:55
In reply to feeling totally frusterated!, posted by happyflower on June 13, 2005, at 11:28:41
> Wed. is my therapy appointment, I have really thought a lot about things, have some great insites in I think about my life. But as you all know from my previous posts I am stuggling with my feelings about my marriage and my living my life to the fullest.
I know that feeling!
> Well 2 appointments ago he mentioned about me be critical of him and I realized I am just too critial of everything. Well how do I do therapy then without being critical. I have things to talk about that I am not happy about, things that are happening in the present and things in the past. If I am trying to less critical, how do I say anything to him? I feel like I need to act lady like and behave or I will look bad little girl, or a totally B*tch. I am now ready to talk and really open up, because I fully trust my T, but now, I am afraid to say anything wrong. Should I ask his permission to be my old self for now with him?
Maybe he mentioned your being critical of him in order to encourage you to think about whether you are critical of other people too?
But also: there can be a difference between critique and criticism. Critique is talking about things that are bothering you, and being able to evaluate and discuss your feelings and thoughts in a balanced way (though it isn’t always possible to be so objective!). Making mostly unfavourable remarks without looking at potentially favourable aspects of things might be termed criticism.
On the other hand, sometimes we feel cr*ppy and need to vent a bit. There’s nothing wrong with being a b*tch from time to time. I like to be in touch with my inner b*tch. I really don’t think you need to behave like a lady! But maybe it’s worth exploring why you feel so strongly about things that ladylike behaviour isn’t terribly appealing to you?
> He is truely being a mad scientist with my brain right now. (oh, I am sorry, is that too critical of him?) I feel like going in his office and telling him off right now! I feel MAD at him right now. That's a first! ( or is that too critical?) Maybe I should just go in tommorrow and sit in the corner with my nose to the wall. What would he think then? ( or am I being too critical of myself) OR wait, isn't it HE who is being critical of ME? AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH! I am beginning to HATE therapy.
Let him have it! I’m sure he can take it. Maybe he’ll help you understand why you feel so angry, and help you explore how you express and manage your anger. He sounds like a good T; I’m sure he can handle anything you throw at him.
poster:Tamar
thread:512000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/512024.html