Posted by happyflower on June 12, 2005, at 7:41:59
In reply to Re: Update.... » happyflower, posted by Dinah on June 12, 2005, at 7:19:23
> How about the feelings are real, but they are fostered in an unreal environment. You're seeing a better person, in all likelihood, than anyone in his real life sees.
>
Now this is something that finally makes sense to me! lol But I have a question. When you first meet someone, isn't both parties being "unreal", wanting to just show their good sides? Then later when you get to know them more, you see more of them. I know therapist have problems like everyone else, and they can be butts too, but if you developed a relationship with them AFTER therapy, wouldn't you be able to accept that? I don't see my T as anyone superior over me. But I like what I do know and see about him. I know he isn't perfect, and wouldn't expect him to be in real life. I know I am going in circles here! lol
I no longer want a romantic relationship with him, we are both married, and I can accept reality.
> > Think about taking any fantasies you have for him to the pragmatic reality. Picture him doing the most annoying things your husband does, because believe me, if he doesn't do those particular ones he does ones just as annoying.
>
> Or... Just imagine they felt as free to be their authentic selves as they do with their loved ones. While in session! Shudder.
>
Maybe I am wrong, but I feel my T is being his authentic self. And by the way, lol, doesn't your T pick his nose in front of you, Dinah? lol Now that is being authenic! lol Heehee, sorry I couldn't resist! Too much coffee this morning!
poster:happyflower
thread:511286
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/511379.html