Posted by pinkeye on June 1, 2005, at 18:53:42
I realized it was pretty bad of me - to have disappeared after posting several very down kind of messages on friday for 4 days.
I am sorry for the people that I worried. I know how difficult it is when someone disappears after posting those kind of messages.
I guess, I took little more than I could handle and kind of wanted to leave it all and go away. And I think I got very frustrated and upset. And I needed a break. I did regret it as soon as I left, but didn't have net access. So I couldn't post anything.Taking a break was kind of good for me though. I realized there really is no point in getting deeper into my feelings or thoughts or analyzing things further about anything - my dad or my ex T or what I felt - if it was all transference or not etc etc. There is simply no point in any of those analysis. What happened wiht my fahter cannot be altered, and past IS past. I have decided not to dwell anymore on it. I know enough now and I need to move forward and try to change my pattern of thinking. Digging deeper is unproductive, unhealthy and ruminative. And I have done as much as I need to to understand what real healing is, and not do patchwork or pushing it all under the carpet.
poster:pinkeye
thread:506485
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/506485.html