Posted by pinkeye on June 1, 2005, at 19:09:29
In reply to Sorry I disappeared without letting anyone know, posted by pinkeye on June 1, 2005, at 18:53:42
Today I had a session, and after talking for a long time, I asked her suddenly "Do you like me?". And she said, "I like you". And I started crying and sobbing. And she said that she usually doesn't answer this question - because it could mean lot of different things and she usually tries to understand why the person is asking this question. She said she understood that what I was asking was, if I was an ok person basically. If I am likeable. That I didn't mean it in any other way. And I started crying, and I told her that this was the validation I wanted from my ex T again and again. That this is the same exact reason why I kept asking him again and again if he liked me - to let me know that I am on ok person basically. And the one that he refused to give me. I told her, that my ex T probably thought I was asking him the question in a sexual way or trying to flirt with him while I was merely asking to validate me as a person. She agreed. She thought the kind of limited interaction that I had with my ex T was probably not enough for him to understand me fully. Or where I was coming from when I asked the question. Or to understand the nature of my transference and my feelings. She said no body could ever udnersatnd a person fully in limite number of emails and so limited interaction. She said that we had much more intense work done because we had seen each other lot longer and spent lot of time face to face.
So that helped me a lot. I think this is the kind of validating I kept asking my ex T. And he failed to see that I was asking for some very basic validation as a person. And I think lots of miscommunication happened because of emails and not being able to write properly.
poster:pinkeye
thread:506485
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/506497.html