Posted by Damos on May 18, 2005, at 17:59:12
In reply to Re: anger » Damos, posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2005, at 5:12:27
> Yeah.
> Though I thought I was resigned about p-doc leaving too. But then there was the missing time and the hospitilisation. I guess that was part of me saying 'I will NOT accept this'.Ahhhh. Now see there's a clear distinction between the two even though they are linked. My understanding of your relationship with the P-doc is that there is a pattern of hurt and disappointment. His leaving was just the latest is a series of events that each built upon and reinforced the other - until the dam broke. It was about you and him - it was personal, it was betrayal and denial and distrust and a whole bunch of other stuff, like, well you know the mental scripting that plays here.
The funding though associated with him was something your experience with him and the system told you not to pin your hopes on. This was about 'the system sux'.
The thing I am learning more and more is that you need to feel things in the moment and then let them go. Anger can be the outward expression of so many things and it is important to feel and acknowledge those things at the time. The internal pressure of all sorts of stuff that has not been felt and acknowleged can often only find it's realease in anger and because it is coming from so many sources and feelings it can be way out of proportion and not clearly associated to the immediate event. Or if you're anything like me it all just turns in upon itself and bad head stuff happens. And that is definitely not good.
One of the alternate therapists I saw a few times worked me through a series of completions. I'll go back and see if I can find the explanation because what she said made a lot of sense and does seem to have helped.
(((((Alex)))))
poster:Damos
thread:497207
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/499545.html