Posted by pinkeye on May 18, 2005, at 13:39:22
Suddenly started wondering if my ex T fully understood me. He understood my brains and my day to day issues, but I wonder if he ever understood me as a person completely.
I don't know if he ever understood what I looked for from him.. Why I kept writing to him, why I felt so extremely dependant on him, and why I still kind of miss him. What I am, how I feel. What my emotions are..
All the communication was through emails, and I hadn't been as open to him as I am here as well.. Partly because the volume of emails was limited, and partly because I didn't get as much replies from him as I get here. It would have taken tons and tons and tons of emails back and forth to have gotten all that I got out here with him.
I am now wondering if he ever thought of me as a flirt, as some over spoilt only child, as some nag and non stop nuisance or arrogant person. Initially he never liked me (from what my husband told me later). He kept urging my husband to leave me - because he thought I was no good. And I was very depressed at that time, and was getting extremely angry and throwing things and crying and shouting. But I have tried to change a lot in these past 3 years. And I wondering if he ever changed his opinion or still thinks like that.
poster:pinkeye
thread:499460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/499460.html