Posted by pinkeye on May 9, 2005, at 19:07:40
In reply to Re: Taking a break for couple of days. » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on May 9, 2005, at 18:58:16
Thank you Dinah.. There is so much going on.. And I am not doing well at work for the past 3 months..
And I feel all these therapy and getting deeper and relying on your therapist and bringing all your childhood and healing yourself and everything is pure bull.. I think I was better off before.. It is extremely hard now. And I don't know how to cope.. I was better off by just keeping things inside myself and managing to be aloof.. I am completely collapsing and I guess regressing into childhood, and I can't afford it.
There always seems to be too much going on in my life.. my dad, and problem in childhood, and loneliness, and then rheumatoid arthris, and coming to the US, and struggling with loneliness and pain here, and then problems with my husband, and he getting into a religious cult, and my father and mother depending on me financially..things just don't seem to stop. and I am too weak to keep handling things. I am just too weak and stupid and I don't have the capacity. And now I have to go back to India, and live with my in laws in a joint family, and I don't know how I will manage having my dad and my husband together in life, and I don't know how I will support my paretns anymore. And my hurting over my ex T on top of all this. Way too much to handle.. and I want to go some place where nobody is there, and stay all by myself. I am much better off by myself.
poster:pinkeye
thread:495224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/495719.html