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Re: You'll laugh at this. » Pfinstegg

Posted by daisym on April 29, 2005, at 0:21:45

In reply to Re: You'll laugh at this. » Pfinstegg, posted by Pfinstegg on April 28, 2005, at 23:37:49

I've noticed that certain age states pull all the way up on the couch and sit sort of tucked up. But I always face him. I guess it is a trust thing...actually, I think it is more of a radar thing. I'm scanning all the time to see if there are shifts in how he feels. And I need the eye contact to stay grounded sometimes.

As far as my boys go, it is hard to look at some of the things I do that are outgrowths from what happen to me. But I don't think I've harmed them, just been over-protective in many ways. I was talking today about my husband's hospitalization and how it has really opened up a flood of memories of when my mother was hospitalized when I was 7. She was gone for at least a month and that is when I remember the abuse starting. I was astonished to hear myself say "I'm taking care of my kids all by myself while their dad is gone because I don't want anyone to hurt them." Stuff like that sneaks up on me, protecting them against old hurts. It makes it so much harder during times like this because I tend to isolate myself and my family. But at least I'm figuring out why.

 

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