Posted by partlycloudy on April 25, 2005, at 9:12:54
It seems that my tolerance levels have plunged recently. I'm having a hard time with TV (violence and infomercials); traffic on the roads, expressing any kind of opinion here at babble without throwing a hissy fit. And yesterday I was at a baseball game where the benches were cleared by a brawl, and I could feel the heightened tension and violence in the air. I insisted that we leave the game before it was over because I was so uncomfortable.
Like all of a sudden my sensitivity has gone haywire, and I'm upset by many things that I usually give no second thought to.
I'm worried about being able to hack work. I'm having a hard time driving without being paranoid about the other drivers on the road and how safe I am. My depression hasn't evaporated as I had desperately hoped it would, and my anxiety is only held in reign with Klonopin, little chips of it throughout the day.
With my therapist I am working on being more assertive and feeling less threatened by the world around me, but it feels much worse lately. Like I really didn't want to go the baseball game, but felt obliged to because the tickets were free. My husband was pleased that I had "shown up", but I felt miserable that I was doing what was expected of me and not what felt safe.
I feel pretty messed up, and have - of course - been crying a lot. I just want this to be over - I want to feel some peace again.
Thanks for reading.
poster:partlycloudy
thread:489172
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/489172.html