Posted by mair on April 6, 2005, at 11:28:08
In reply to Focus of therapy sessions (slight trigger), posted by daisym on April 6, 2005, at 0:37:37
daisy - I don't know if this mirrors your experience at all, but I'm in a pretty depressed space right now - probably the most in years and I've discovered that my ability to really work on anything in therapy is hugely diminished. This, in and of itself, is distressing because I felt before this that I was making some real progress in areas which had always been especially difficult. I worry that all of that all of the progress has just been wiped out and it's frustrating to me to have sessions which I feel are so undirected, and to which my constructive contributions seem so insufficient.
I apologized to my therapist yesterday for the previous session. She pointed out to me that I always seemed to feel that I should apologize whenever we had a session where I talked alot about suicide, which has definitely been a not infrequent preoccupation but fortunately not an obsession. My view was that I was laying too much stuff on her by maybe making myself sound worse off than I really am. Her view is that she's gratified that I'm sharing much more of what I really feel - the depths of my despair for instance - than I have during previous depressive episodes. And we talked about my fear that I'll become so negative that she just won't want to be around me - I guess that's the fear of rejection.
Anyway, in this context, your T's statement about mostly being concerned when you stop talking about these things is probably right on. A hallmark of the deeper states of depression is emotional isolation and it has always been one of my T's main goals to reduce that isolation. As long as you keep talking to him about what you're experiencing, the less you may feel isolated in those feelings. That's at least proven to be the case with me.
mair
poster:mair
thread:480557
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/480671.html