Posted by 10derHeart on February 25, 2005, at 19:19:21
In reply to Re: Emotional Abandonment (long) » LG04, posted by cursed_one on February 25, 2005, at 17:49:10
Cursed One,
Hi, and welcome to Babble. Glad you felt comfortable posting here.
I'm so sorry to hear of the pain and disappointment these many life events must have caused for you. Any one alone could devastate a person, and you've had way more than your share of both family and therapist problems.
To have a therapist die, I shudder to even imagine. And in the other situation with your letters, you must have felt completely betrayed by her final decision. I won't say I can imagine how crushing that would be either.
But I do have to respectfully disagree with a broad generalization about therapists being only out for themselves, or never to be trusted. I have been blessed with two wonderful therapists. I am alive today in large part because of the relationship I had with a former therapist, because of the strong, caring influence he had (inside my mind/heart) when I was seriously suicidal. There really are good ones out there - even great ones, IMO.
But I can surely get why you would feel just like you do. We are all shaped by our experiences, and yours have been terribly difficult. Hope you have some help and support now that you believe in - at least a little.
I pray for you that the answer is that there will be no next time, because you will keep fighting for the help you need from a caring professional. Or, if it gets so bad again, you will reach out and let someone help you. The answer isn't more pills (if I understood that to be an overdose reference), of that I'm sure. I read how you felt bad when a pdoc (psychiatrist) said this, but as a mother I have to say - your children DO need you to stay here in this world with them. Those who've worked with/know suicide survivors, know they are left with terrible agony and guilt.
Please take care and I hope you keep posting so we can get to know you. This is a wonderful place for support, especially when all else seems to be failing. :-) - 10derHeart
PS - For the future, it's a custom here to help out more sensitive posters by putting the word *trigger* in the subject line if you write about suicide or self injury (SI). You had no way to know, so it's perfectly fine - I did it for you. That way, those who may be upset by those topics can choose not to read.
poster:10derHeart
thread:459147
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050225/msgs/463413.html