Posted by Aphrodite on February 20, 2005, at 8:03:38
In reply to I see therapist Monday morning 8 am, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2005, at 21:28:37
Oh Dinah, that is the worst feeling, I know. I hate being in a situation where I am overwhelmed with pain that I feel like I cannot tolerate alone. I remember that he encourages and *wants* me to call him, and then I look at the clock and realize, "I just saw him yesterday," or, "I'll seem him tomorrow or the next day," and my pain gets diminished by the prospect of him seeing me as so needy. Then I start to worry about what I would be interrupting -- dinner? driving? sleeping? SEX?!?! At that point, I've gone from despair to despair plus neuroticism and heightened anxiety. My internal critic then starts berating me for me weaknesses and faults.
That's when I don't call. But when I do . . . it only takes 5 minutes of hearing his gentle voice and my inner child getting the comfort of realizing he's still there, and then I'm OK again and can hold onto it for awhile so I can function.
But I rarely do that. Like you, I ride it out the majority of the time. I need to hear this for myself as much as reminding you that the toll those repeated times of bearing it alone takes on us is so hard and our T's have to work that much harder to get us where we need to be. Better for them if we had just reached out before the damage was done.
I hope that you can call to make your day more peaceful.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:460611
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/460748.html