Posted by littleone on February 15, 2005, at 14:49:21
In reply to Sense of self, posted by vwoolf on February 15, 2005, at 12:45:22
My T and I were talking about this before I had my shutdown.
I get very confused over this and will try to say what he said, although it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
He said I have a shattered ego and a damaged sense of self. When I asked for what exactly this means, he said that I have a deep and strong belief that I'm worthless which is apparently the worst belief that one can have. Like it undermines everything that you are. But to me, this just sounds like poor self esteem, so I guess I'm missing something here.
I've been reading a book "Coping with Trauma" by Jon G Allen. It has a chapter about self. Here's a small part that really jumped out at me:
He says that the self "entails a feeling of being 'myself' that is stable across time and space. I feel that I continue to be myself day after day, month after month, year after year. I continue to be myself whether I'm at home, at work or out on the town. I continue to be myself at different times and in different places, despite the many changes in my self from time to time and place to place."
"Continuity in the face of discontinuity is perhaps the essence of the subjective sense of self. I know who I am, and I continue to be who I am. Implied in continuity is a sense of cohesiveness, unity, integrity, wholeness and identity."
He says that included in this is also a sense of distinctness from others and separateness. And this all goes hand in hand with self-efficacy (a feeling of power and influence, the ability to bring about an intended result).
He also says that this continuity changes over time as you change. Also, you experience gradual or more abrupt changes in mood, eg people say 'I wasn't myself' after saying or doing something out of character.
Hope that all made sense outside of the book's context.
Also, I think I have a lot of trouble with my sense of self because I can't see inside myself. I think self awareness is a big part of it all.
poster:littleone
thread:458175
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/458234.html