Posted by Tabitha on February 11, 2005, at 13:39:52
In reply to Re: A parent who drank a lot » Dinah, posted by Aphrodite on February 11, 2005, at 11:33:01
This thread is bringing up anger in me. My dad was alcoholic, but I've always told myself it didn't affect me since he did his drinking outside the home. It's not like I ever saw him drunk (well once, but that's all I remember). So it's like I've had this belief, it's OK for a parent to be alcholic, just so long as they don't drink at home. I'm pretty judgemental about parents drinking at home-- probably picked up from my mom, whose dad drank at home and behaved inappropriately with her.
Then I hear two people saying (this is what I'm hearing, I may not have your message exactly right) that it's OK for a parent to be alcholic, and drink at home, just so long as they don't behave too "drunkenly". I'm all mad at your dads, and at you and your moms for picking up the slack and making excuses. But isn't it funny that I'm not mad at my dad and my mom and myself? Because my dad didn't seem "as bad"?
Somehow I think we'd all be better off just saying it's not OK for a parent to be alcholic, and looking at what it really cost us. I mean, my dad wasn't home because he was out drinking in bars every night. It made my mom miserable, and that sure as heck affected me. He started an affair with one of his drinking buddies, and that sure as heck affected me.
Now I imagine you're thinking, thank goodness my dad drank at home. But how did it really feel being home with that dad who was drunk and zoned out in front of the TV, or that dad who filled the home with his boorish drinking buddies and had to be chauffered everywhere because he was too drunk to drive? Yuck! Let's stop letting the alcoholic parent off the hook, just because they weren't the world's worst alcoholic parent.
poster:Tabitha
thread:456043
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/456316.html