Posted by lonelygal on January 19, 2005, at 17:09:06
In reply to Re: she canceled., posted by rubenstein on January 19, 2005, at 12:37:47
i'm home alone now trying to figure out what to do. she did have a good excuse so i'm not mad at her, i just felt like this is more than coincidental, sort of like my fate is to be all alone and to either survive and sort things out myself or not. i dunno if i'm making sense.. i don't know how to explain it. i was mad, but it had nothing to do with her, just more like of course something would go wrong, and trying to get help would not be easy for me.
so anyways, i called back and left a message b/c i was really really upset, but didn't really know what to say. so after a couple long awkward pauses on the answering machine, i just started rambling that i missed my old therapist so much and that it's not fair that i can't talk to her, and that i wanted to kill myself, but thought i would wait until seeing you, but then what good would seeing you do anyways b/c i don't know you, so i dunno, bye. well, at least that's the jist of it i can remember.
she called back and left me a message, gave some other scheduling options and a hotline number, but i can tell that i rattled her b/c she was having weird pauses and stuff too.
now, i'm just so embarassed. i don't know what i'm going to do. i haven't scheduled an appt. i just don't know what i'm doing. i didn't tell my old therapist anything for months and months and i don't even know this girl and it just feels so weird. i did it to myself, i know, but jeez.
that's all. that's my update.
poster:lonelygal
thread:444210
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/444341.html