Posted by daisym on January 11, 2005, at 23:36:57
In reply to Re: I hate therapy. (Longish), posted by Speaker on January 11, 2005, at 12:20:28
Marie,
I know you know...it just feels like it is taking forever. I want to have a time line, for him and for me. We got more bad news on Monday night, which means more eye surgery. I think we've both had enough!I happened to read the intro about the Ego State book (discussed above) and there was a whole thing about getting well in a "relatively short" period of time. What does that mean??!! I feel like I need to work harder to get these parts and pieces integrated but I don't know how and I don't know what else to do to get better faster.
It just hurts sometimes so much that I think I can't stand it. I sat in my therapist's office today and told him about the dark place in my soul that is too deep and raw for tears, it lives under or beyond those emotions. It is the place that you should only visit for seconds at a time and yet I seem stuck there for days and weeks. This is the place where you can't look at the bright side or find any silver lining. The stark reality of all the bad stuff glares there, not softened and not excused. My therapist said "you are enduring a living hell. Truly. Reliving all of this and coping with the day to day stressors is hellish." And we sat for awhile. I was glad he didn't want me to make it better for him or that he didn't believe how bad it can be some days and nights.
When I left he said, "I'm still holding the hope for us, until you are ready to have it back. I know you will be OK. But you might just have to save yourself and to do that you might have to let go of someone else."
That is just too stark a reality for me right now.
poster:daisym
thread:440602
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050111/msgs/440928.html