Posted by annierose on January 4, 2005, at 17:40:45
In reply to Re: Ever been sad and not know why? » Annierose, posted by daisym on January 4, 2005, at 0:57:56
Dasiy, Dinah, Fallen and others -
Today was interesting. I was keeping in mind what everyone said here on babble. And I was trying so hard to figure out this sadness (still here). Then she asked me "Who do you matter to?" Not exactly the same as Daisy's T telling her that she matters, but when she asked that question, I kind of sat straight up in my chair.
Then she brought up the letter I wrote to her with her holiday gift (the necklace which she was wearing today, BTW). She said that the letter was so lovely, and expressed all these feelings that don't easily come out in session. After reading about everyone writing here on babble, I did say, "Isn't that so with most people?" We talked a little about the letter, and I'm glad. I did want her reaction. I guess I need to know that I did matter to her. She genuinely seems surprised at my sudden "stuckness" (to use a real sophisticated psychological term).
OH! I was particularly quiet at the beginning of this session, couldn't get back to yesterday's conversation. She asked, "what are you thinking about?" And I snapped, "I hate that question." She was taken aback and said, "Don't you think I want to know and care?" I replied, "it's rote", so for the remainder of the session she did not use that phrase. That babble thread came popped right into my head.
I find it extremely difficult to discuss any feelings I have about her, not that they are sexual. Is that hard for most of you too?I have enjoyed sitting up these past 2 sessions. I got to reconnect with her a little bit, see her facial expressions, see her smile and laugh at my silly jokes, etc. I remember now how important that is to me (her reaction) and that feels good.
She said that lieing on the couch should feel more like my writing in a journal, more free flowing. I don't think that is true for me. But I don't mind lieing down either. It is more relaxing on one level, but I'm more self-conscious on another.
poster:annierose
thread:437300
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/437766.html