Posted by daisym on January 4, 2005, at 1:29:38
In reply to Re: Husbands and therapy » daisym, posted by meg7 on January 3, 2005, at 14:16:41
Funny you asked this. My therapist said something similar on Friday. No one knows, IRL, how difficult things are for me. No one knew when I was a kid what was going on. So I feel invisible all over again. My therapist is usually gentle about things but he pushed me on this..."your husband doesn't know how deeply you are grieving, your kids don't know, your friends don't really know...just like no one knew about your dad, not your mom, your brothers, your teachers..." I couldn't do anything except nod my head and weep.
He thinks I need more support around all of this, but it is truly complicated. I have two friends I've told about the csa now. One is very helpful, the other not so much. My husband has his own stuff to deal with and I don't believe he is capable of giving a sustained supportive response. Not that I've given him the opportunity to prove me wrong.
Oh, and just in case you think my therapist was too hard on me, he did pull back and say, "OK, more support is a goal. But don't forget, it *is* already different this time, because we are doing this work together. You aren't alone...I know you are suffering and I see you grieving. So they don't know, but I know. I know." Which made me cry too. *sigh*
poster:daisym
thread:436863
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/437511.html