Posted by fallsfall on December 20, 2004, at 8:51:13
I have recommended ice cream since I started posting on this board. I have even been named "The Ice Cream Queen".
I just want to give a testimonial today - Ice Cream REALLY does help.
Last Friday I saw my therapist. We are talking about very hard stuff, but I didn't realize quite how hard it was until I was driving home. I have a suicide plan (and have for almost 2 years), but there is one piece of the plan that would take me a couple of days to accomplish. This is a good thing because it means that I can't be impulsive with this plan. I would need to do something 2 or 3 or more days in advance in order to be able to do my plan - and then maintain the decision to act for that time. This has been an important safety feature. But on Friday, this particular thing just happened to be happening (3 or 4 times a year, I do this thing). And as I was driving home I realized that this safety catch was off. I hadn't realized how important this catch was, but as soon as I realized that it wasn't an obstacle I started thinking about whether there was any *other* reason not to act. I haven't felt this suicidal in a long time (almost 2 years), and it was scary to me.
I stopped on the way home (with tears on my face) and bought my favorite ice cream - I was out of ice cream at home. I dried my tears as best I could, but I didn't let the fact that I looked like XXXX keep me out of the store. When I got home it was so frozen I couldn't get it out of the container, but I did manage to scrape two spoonfuls into a bowl. I ate those and then got more from the container on the counter. I did this maybe 4 times until the ice cream was soft enough to get enough into the bowl to satisfy me.
It was like magic. I swear that as I put the first spoonfuls into my mouth that my body started to calm down. I had decided on the way home that I would eat ice cream rather than act, and eating ice cream allowed me to maintain that decision.
I called my therapist, and he called back 2 hours later - by then I could tell him why I was so upset, and that I believed that I would be OK. I didn't tell him that it was the ice cream that made the difference. I will tell him today.
Saturday was bearable, but on Sunday I woke up and just wanted the day to evaporate. It was early, and I forced myself to go back to sleep. When I did get up, mid-morning, I decided that I could eat ice cream for breakfast. I did, and it helped me again.
There was another time years ago when I was so depressed that I literally couldn't get out of bed. The only thing that got me out of bed was ice cream.
Don't underestimate the power of ice cream.
(And please, please, please, have one piece of your plan (if you must have a plan) that takes some effort, to prevent impulsively acting on your plan)
poster:fallsfall
thread:431999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/431999.html