Posted by gardenergirl on December 18, 2004, at 22:06:16
In reply to His calls, posted by Aphrodite on December 18, 2004, at 19:25:29
> > I was momentarily snapped out of my own misery to realize he must be suffering, too. Then, I felt terribly that I was making such a big deal out of it.
>I'm glad he called. I can tell he really does care. And owning up to his mistake is BIG! Not everyone would do that.
> But it feels like a *huge* deal to me.
It IS a huge deal. Your feelings are not out of line. Only you have your experiences inside you to be triggered. I think you do a wonderful job of describing it so that others can understand how much it hurts.
>Anyway, I said that I wanted him to protect me, fight for me, be completely on my side without question. I said I doubted I would ever be able to talk about the painful things again.
I'm glad you were able to be honest about where you are right now. And I'm glad he is going to fight to repair this and keep going.
>
> How do this psychodynamic T's do it? Trauma patients like me are so difficult and such a strain.Well, I would argue that you could say the same about all kinds of patients. I was about to name some types, but I don't want to offend anyone. But my T brings up a good point. He said, "you've got to be paid to do it." This really offended me at first. He went on to say that of course T's do it because it's what they chose as a professional, and hopefully because it's what they love to do. But no one can do this for altruism alone. You have to be paid so that your services are valued. And you have to be able to separate out your personal and professional life. Being paid helps the T keep the boundaries. Does this make sense? I am still digesting this. And sorry to digress.
>
> I'm torn between wanting to be mature, wanting to take care of my overworked T, and wanting to indulge my inner child all her pain. This is taking a lot of energy.Oh my, I can see how it would. That's a lot to be juggle. Can you drop the ball of taking care of your T, and trust that he will catch it and keep it? It's his ball, you know. :)
Take extra special care right now. Gentle hugs and ice cream are in order, I think.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:430994
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/431476.html