Posted by Joslynn on December 10, 2004, at 8:53:57
In reply to Re: transference questions, posted by fluffycat on December 10, 2004, at 0:19:20
Hello Fluffy Feline!
What you are feeling is very common. I went thru something very similar with a male pdoc who also did therapy. It wasn't so much a physical crush as an emotional crush plus paternal longing. Anyway, for me, I did let it grow in secret and not tell my female T, who I was also seeing. Finally I did tell her, after the whole fantasy exploded, but I wish I had done it earlier. It is a long story and my pdoc accidentally contributed by self-disclosing personal things that made me think we had this big soulmate connection, then I realized he is just a good doctor who cares about me, but as a patient.
Anyway, technically your T cannot tell him anything you say about him, unless you signed some forms saying she can. At least that is what my T told me.
I eventually did tell him, in a roundabout cringing way, and he wasn't like, "well, we can't work together then." He apologized to ME when I explained it all and he apologized for how some of his conversations contributed to it. He was very cool about it. I have decided to see him less often though, just to get my own bearings and not be so emotionally dependent.
So it can work out fine in the end, but I wish I had not held onto the secret for so long.
Good luck.
poster:Joslynn
thread:425419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041210/msgs/427144.html